A first look is the two of you seeing each other before the ceremony, on purpose, with the cameras there and nobody else. Should you do one? My answer, from the reception side of the day: if your ceremony starts late in the day, if your family photo list is long, or if you want to actually attend your own cocktail hour, do it. If seeing each other at the top of the aisle is the moment you've pictured since you were a kid, don't, and build the day around that. Both work.

As for the light, the best of it on this coast is the hour before sunset, and sunset moves a lot: past 8:00 in June, about 6:00 in the middle of October, and half past four once the clocks change in November. Let's go through what a first look buys you, what it costs, and how to find your light.

WHAT IT BUYS YOU

Time. That's the whole trade. Without a first look, every photo with the two of you in it happens after the ceremony: family groupings, wedding party, portraits. Done well, that's 45 minutes to an hour (I say the same in the photographer article), and it lands squarely on top of cocktail hour. With a first look, the family and the party get photographed before the ceremony, and afterward your photographer needs maybe twenty minutes for the pictures that can only happen once you're married. You get your cocktail hour back.

From the reception side, the difference is plain. When the photos run long, the guests don't know why. They know the bar line, they know you're not there, and by minute 75 they're checking the time. A tired, hungry room does not give you the grand entrance you want. See what I'm saying?

WHAT IT COSTS YOU

The top of the aisle. I've watched plenty of couples see each other for the first time in front of everyone. The aisle moment is still there after a first look. It's just a different size, and you're the only two people who will know.

There's also the morning: hair, makeup, and everyone dressed an hour or more earlier, which means the providers arrive earlier and you're in your clothes longer before anyone eats. Decide with your eyes open. A first look with a parent, or whoever raised you, is worth knowing about: ten minutes, and often the photo the family keeps. You can do that one and still save the aisle.

GOLDEN HOUR ON THIS COAST

Golden hour is the last hour before sunset, and the last usable light runs about half an hour past it. Around New Bedford, a Saturday in the middle of June sets a little after 8:20. The middle of October sets right around 6:00. The second Saturday of November, after the clocks go back, sets at 4:24, and it's dark by 5:00. That's why a 4:00 outdoor ceremony in late October walks back up the aisle in the dusk.

Two rules to hold onto. Without a first look, the ceremony should end about two hours before sunset, so the formals and the portraits happen in daylight. With one, an hour before is enough. And sunset portraits are a fifteen-minute step-out about half an hour before sunset, which means they land somewhere inside the reception: on dinner, on the cake gap, or on the dancing.

Type your date into the tool below and it gives you sunset, golden hour, last light, and the time your ceremony should end for the photos you want.

WHAT I'M DOING WHILE YOU'RE GONE

When the photographer steps you out for sunset, I'm holding the room. Dinner or the cake gap, easy. The grand entrance or the toasts, and we have a problem, because neither can happen without you, and a speaker holding a wireless mic does not wait fifteen minutes gracefully. So before the day, your photographer and I agree on the step-out time and who gives the two-minute warning. You being gone too long is an invitation for guests to leave early. That hasn't changed in twenty years.

The Run of Show Builder shows both paths side by side, with a first look and without, what each takes out of cocktail hour, and where sunset lands.

WHAT USUALLY GOES WRONG HERE

  • The first look is scheduled twenty minutes before the ceremony, where the guests park. Give it a real place and a real half hour.
  • The photo list has 22 family groupings and nobody did the math. Figure three minutes each.
  • Rain, and nobody picked the indoor spot. The rain call article covers it.

QUESTIONS I GET ASKED

How long does a first look take?

Thirty minutes with the portraits. Add the family and wedding party groupings if you're doing those before too.

Does a first look ruin the aisle moment?

No. It changes its size. Nobody in the seats will know.

Can we skip the first look and still get sunset photos?

Yes, as a step-out during the reception, anywhere but the entrance or the toasts.

Whichever way you go, decide it early, tell your photographer and whoever runs your music, and put it on the run of show. The one-take rule applies to the light too. It goes down once, and it does not care about your timeline.

Thanks! Chuck