Say it three times, in the same words: on your wedding website, on a sign where guests walk in, and out loud, by the officiant or by me, one minute before the processional. The spoken one is the one that works. The sign gets you about half the room; the voice gets you the rest. For the reception, my advice runs the other way: let the phones back out, tell people where to put the pictures, and ask for them down again for exactly two moments. That's the whole answer. Here's why, and here's how I run it from the back of the room.
ONE TAKE, AND A ROW OF PHONES
I treat the day like a movie production, and the ceremony is the one scene with no second take. Your photographer gets one pass at the aisle. I'm usually at the back or off to the side running the ceremony sound, so I see what the camera sees: a dozen raised phones, and one guest leaning into the aisle for the shot your photographer was already framing. The pictures you paid for now have a phone in them. Nobody wins. An unplugged ceremony isn't about manners. It's about the take.
SAY IT THREE TIMES
Use the same wording everywhere, in your own voice. Something like: "We've hired people to take the pictures. We'd love to see your faces instead of your phones, so please keep them off and away until we're back down the aisle." Ask, don't scold. Then:
- The website. On the ceremony page, next to the time and the address, not buried in an FAQ.
- The sign. Big enough to read from ten feet away, at the spot where people slow down (the programs, the seating chart, the guest book). A pretty sign in tiny script is decoration.
- The voice. The officiant says it, or I say it over the prelude, once, about a minute before the family is seated. Twenty seconds. That's the one that turns the phones off.
Half measures don't work, and I'll say that plainly. "Phones down until the kiss" gets you half-raised phones for the whole ceremony. "Take one, then put it away" gets you forty people taking one during the vows. All or nothing, for twenty to thirty minutes. You can afford it.
WHAT I DO WITH IT
When I'm running ceremony sound, the phones line goes on my cue sheet as its own row, right before the seating of the family, with the exact words you chose. I tell the photographer when it's coming so they're in position when the phones go down. And on the way out, after the recessional, I say the other half: "Phones are back on, and here's where the pictures go." If you've hired a content creator, this is exactly why: the phone-style clips get made without a phone in the seats.
The DJ Sheet has a place for the wording; type it once and it prints in all three places, sign included.
THE RECEPTION IS DIFFERENT
Let them have their phones. I mean it. Your guests want to share the night while it's still the night, and their pictures reach your friends before your photographer has unpacked the cards. Fighting that for five hours is a losing battle. Give it a lane instead: a sign on the way in with a link or a code to a shared album (a link, not an app anybody has to download), and if you'd rather post the first picture of the two of you yourselves, say that on the same sign. Most people honor it when they know.
Two moments are the exception, and one line from the MC handles both. The first dance: the photo of your first dance from the third row is the one with forty screens in it, so I ask for phones down for one song, and the room does it happily. The toasts: a speaker looking at a wall of phones instead of faces gets rattled, so I say it once before the first speaker. That's it. Everything else, let it go.
WHAT USUALLY GOES WRONG HERE
- The sign is beautiful and nobody reads it, because it's the only place it was said.
- The officiant means to say it and forgets. Put it on their script and on mine.
- Somebody's phone rings during the vows. It happens even when you ask. Laugh and keep going.
- A guest livestreams the ceremony for the relative who couldn't travel, from the aisle. If you want that, plan it: one person, one tripod, at the back, and tell the photographer.
QUESTIONS I GET ASKED
Is it rude to ask guests to put their phones away?
No. Rude is not telling them and being upset about the pictures later. Ask kindly, once, out loud.
Who should say it?
The officiant if they're comfortable; otherwise the MC. Whoever has the mic and the room's attention right before the processional.
Should the reception be unplugged too?
No. First dance and toasts, phones down. Everything else, share away.
Decide it, write it once, say it three times, and give the pictures somewhere to go. Then forget about it and get married. Prepare it and it takes care of itself.
Thanks! Chuck